And one flew the nest…

There’s really no easy way to start this post. I’ve written the first sentence and deleted it many times. How does a mom summarize in a post her experience raising her first child and then preparing to launch him into the wide world? I don’t know! It’s my first time! I’ll let you know how it turns out!

I am writing this six days before Hayden officially launches into adulthood. He is going on a grand adventure that he has been dreaming of for quite some time, and he gets to do this adventure with his best friend. I can’t wait to watch the next stage of the journey unfold for him because I know how hard he’s worked to get to this point. I know the challenges he’s faced and the obstacles he’s overcome and I’m very proud of him.

Many of you are wanting to know exactly what he’s doing and what this grand adventure is but he’s sworn me to secrecy. Someday I’ll see if I can share a bit of his journey once some of his experiences are in hindsight and not in the future. In the meantime, if you want to support him on his journey here’s his Venmo. I’m sure he’d greatly appreciate anything, as he paid for his degree out of pocket and has saved for this trip with very little from us aside from a graduation gift.

We began putting together a Redbubble website from which you could purchase different items with his art but we only got two images uploaded before he flew. If you want to check out what’s there, click here: Art by Hayden Hamrick. Hopefully he’ll find some time to add more designs! He has so many on his iPad but they’re still in layers and need to be converted for uploading. Not sure he will find time while he’s on this grand adventure!

Anyway, back to the nostalgia. All I ever wanted to be was a mama. He made the job so easy and has been a treasure every step of the way. He has grown me and challenged me… he has helped me become more compassionate and I am quite amazed at how much parenting him raised me.

I’ll be honest… I’m kind of numb. People are asking me how I’m doing with this big life change. The best I can describe it is that it’s similar to how a family feels before a deployment. Everyone knows a change is about to happen and, in many ways, all are eager for it to just take place so the anticipation of the goodbye can just be over with. But that also means he’ll be off on his adventure, not home every night for dinner, not there to take Anna on dates or show Parker new styles for his outfits. We need the goodbye over-with but don’t want him gone, if that makes any sense.

I will say, the past week or so things have been really good, though we did go through a rough period where everyone was very short-tempered with each other. I fully believe that was the anxiety and grieving that comes along with the kind of change we are facing. For some reason we hit a peaceful place in the past week and things have been going very smoothly.

I’ve been praying for this kid of mine fervently. He seeks God and is very receptive to the Holy Spirit. We are watching him take his faith as his own, something that every person has to do or their faith will not hold.

I’ve made him promise to text me every day for a few weeks, just until I get used to him not being here. I dread watching Anna come to the realization that we won’t be visiting him every Saturday.

Hayden is a treasure. He has been my treasure for the past (almost) 21 years and now it’s time to let the world experience what a treasure he is. We are praying for God’s protection over him, his body (safety and health), mind, and heart. We are praying that his faith grows exponentially, in ways it can’t while living at home. We are praying for his provision, something he’s confident God will take care of. He’s seen God provide for us so he has every confidence God will do so even when he’s not with us anymore. (Matt and I are, understandably, more tentative in this area due to our financial struggles early on. Hayden has been wise with his money and has paid for everything in cash his whole life, and has graduated debt-free, so he’s entering adulthood with much more wisdom than did his parents… for that we are very thankful!) We are praying for the friends he makes to be a blessing to him and for him to know when to set boundaries with people. Oh my goodness, there are so many things we are praying!

But maybe more than anything else, we are praying that the words spoken over and about him from multiple pastors at our church come to fruition. They have said that Hayden is an evangelist for people who would never listen to people who look like us. Because of who he is and how he expresses who he is, others who also express themselves in unique ways will trust him and be open to hearing about his faith in Jesus… those very people would likely expect me to be judgmental of them or maybe, they would assume that the Jesus I love wouldn’t be open to loving someone like them. Which, of course, is the farthest thing from the truth! The Jesus I love DOES love them as much as He loves every other human on the planet! But they may be more receptive to Hayden than to me.
And for that I pray!

I’ve been praying this song over him since I was in college. I very clearly remember falling in love with this song and listening to it while I made bulletin boards for my Elementary Education classes. I didn’t know for sure at that time if I’d even have a son, but this song really settled deep into my heart.

Cheri Keaggy’s Little Boy on His Knees.

He see’s me in the morning
Lifting him out of bed
The sun comes with little warning
A brand new day’s ahead
To the kitchen for some breakfast
A plate of toasted bread
A cup of milk just as expected
Close your eyes and bow your head

You can thank him for anything you want to
For the flower’s and the trees
And pray, Lord Jesus, make me
A little boy on my knees

He’s Mommy’s little helper
Learning to comb his hair
And loves his baby sister
Though he doesn’t always share
A quarter in the bucket
A memory verse or two
Although he may not know it
He’s beginning to follow you

You can thank him for anything you want to
For your Daddy and for me
And pray, Lord Jesus, make me
A little boy on my knees

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Written mid-March, posted 3-23-22