We’re adopting a little girl!!!
Our story is beautiful and perfect. I love every tiny detail and every single moment of our story. It all started with this picture of me holding my friend’s new little one on August 18, 2015:
One of our friends took that picture of me holding this cute little one and texted it to both Matt and me with the saying: “Pink looks good on Jennifer.”
Matt wrote back: “It does indeed.”
I assumed he missed the hint, which was that I needed to have a little girl to dress in pink, and that he was agreeing that the BABY looked good in pink.
I wrote to him, “I think she’s talking about the baby girl!”
His response was, “I know.”
For a few hours I stewed over that, wondering if it could possibly mean that Matt was interested in pursuing adoption. We have wanted to for over ten years, and I had decided that I would wait for him to bring up the topic. Later that day he told me he’d been thinking of it for a few months and that he felt it was time.
A week of research left me 100% sure that we were not going to be able to afford a normal agency adoption. I grieved. Matt grieved. And then, we were at peace.
Here’s what I wrote to two friends who knew we were looking into adoption; August 28th:
We want a daughter, but we know we aren’t supposed to pursue the normal methods. We are, however, open to someone approaching us and asking us to adopt their baby girl. I even told my sweet doctor this week that should anyone come in to her office with an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy to call me! I was only sort-of joking. We are pretty much 99.9999% sure this isn’t going to happen, as we know there are so few instances where it does, and we’re okay with that. I’m at peace with this, and for the first time in my life, I am content either way. We do know of several families where this has happened, but we don’t expect it or count on it. We are expecting that we will never have a daughter to raise, but if God sends one our way, we’ll be ecstatic.
I will save that picture forever. It is a moment in time where God healed something in me and provided me the opportunity to seek His will in something that otherwise, without Matt’s blessing, I would have never sought. I would have always wondered.
Your prayers are coveted as we go forward with the “waiting” for something we aren’t even expecting.
And for a couple of months we just left “little sister” on our prayer board that is on our fridge. The board we wrote that on was given to me at that very meeting and on the day I had that picture taken of me holding my friend’s baby. I chose a pink one on purpose.
Sunday, November 1st we had some friends over to celebrate my upcoming birthday. We were lovingly teased about needing to get ‘started on that girl.’ My response was, “We’re praying for it!” and I pointed to my refrigerator:
And here is where our story starts moving at warp speed. Hang on to your seats!
November 3rd we left Killeen to head toward Colorado for a family retreat.
November 4th I got a text from a friend in Virginia telling me about a lady who was looking for a family to raise the baby she is expecting.
November 8th I got to talk to the birth mother. I loved every second of that conversation. Matt and I were 100% sure this is right for us.
November 10th I selected an attorney in TX and an attorney in VA (where the baby is going to be born). We got the prices and fees and it is something we can do. It’ll stretch us and we have set up a fund for those who want to help us.
November 11th, I contacted the mother and told her we are 100% in. That afternoon I got my first ultrasound pictures!!
Monday morning (the 16th) I have a phone-consult with our VA attorney and the mother will be going in soon for her first appointment with them. I have already begun paperwork for our home study. (NOTE: Home studies usually take 3-5 months. We don’t have that long!)
9 weeks from now Matt and I will likely be the proud parents of a little girl! She’s due January 21st!
There are so many details and precious stories along the way that we are treasuring in our hearts. Beth Moore would call them God-Stops: ways God is making Himself undeniably present in the situation.
Here are some stories I’d like to tell someday but for now, I’m going to be pretty busy for the next 9 weeks, and then, if all goes well, several months after that!
- I’m sure you have questions. I’d like to write a post that lists them (so please submit them) and I’d like to answer the ones we feel comfortable sharing;
- How the boys feel about having a sister; (Hint: they’re smitten)
- About her first blanket and baby clothes, including the outfit the baby is wearing in the picture that got this entire process started;
- About the scriptures I was reading throughout the first week we were made aware of the possible adoption;
- About all the “coincidences” with dates/timing/etc. So many WOW moments.
- About the phone call with the birth mother and what we talked about. Not the intimate details, but a few parts will make you see God’s hand in this and how perfectly we’re matched;
- About how we’re used to being so very transparent in our lives but now that our lives are going to be intermingled with the birth mother’s, we need to be very intentional with what we share and what we keep to ourselves… that’s hard for me. I like to share everything!
- About her name and what it means.
So that’s that! Like I said, submit your questions to me and I’ll formulate a new post in the next few days answering the most common questions I get. I’ll answer what I can, and if I can’t share, I’ll let you know.
I’m sure there’s one question on your mind that I’ll briefly touch on: there is always a chance this might fall through and yes, we’re aware of that. Our hearts are already attached and we are fully aware of the fact that the mama has the right to change her mind at any time between now and seven days after she’s signed consent. Yes, we’d be out the money we’re paying, and yes, our hearts would be broken.
But, we believe God is in this and that should something like that happen, we are more than willing to trust Him. We want the best for this little life. If being with us is the best for her, we want to be her mommy and daddy and brothers. If being with her birth mother is best, we will hurt for our loss but we will trust the Lord.
One piece of comfort I read last night was that when a birth mother has selected a family and she feels connected to them, and a friendship develops, there is almost no chance she will change her mind. I have spoken with the birth mother almost every day and I am praying our relationship will be good. Sure, there are going to be boundaries in place, and you can rest assured we’re being careful and intentional about what our semi-open-adoption is going to look like, but I am thankful that I genuinely like this young woman. I’m actually growing to love her more and more. She’s my hero.
If you are interested in helping us reach our goal of $10,000, you can find our link here: