It’s September! I am beyond thrilled to see fall come this year, for many reasons. The first reason is that the fall and winter seasons are my favorites and they’re just around the corner. I say that fall is sort of coming only because the temperatures haven’t begun to drop, and I’m told by native Texans that they won’t until sometime after Halloween. In the meantime I’m going to light my “Farmer’s Market” candle, decorate for the season, and dig in as if it were in the 40s and actually felt like fall.
In honor of this amazing season I baked my first apple pies of 2013. I made more of a mess than anything, and the results weren’t at all pretty, but they were very tasty!!
Here I was in the process of peeling and coring a ton of Bountiful Baskets apples. (The cut apples were soaking in a water with lemon-juice mixture to keep them from browning… only problem was that they got too mushy. I might not try that next time.) I have found that boiling the skins with a tablespoon or two of cinnamon makes the house smell, and therefore feel, very fall-y. (Made that term up. I know.)The first pie turned out quite ugly. Cathy would be embarrassed if I shared with you that she was my apple-pie making instructor. (And I could have at least cleaned off my counter before snapping the picture, but my husband and kids were waiting for me to serve this to them so there was no time for that.)
Cathy, I assure you that it tasted very good, and the other two in the freezer ready for Thanksgiving look much prettier than this one. Thank you for teaching me how to make homemade pies and for being one of my heroes!
On a totally different note…
It’s been quiet around my blog for a few weeks. I know. And I also know that many bloggers, after taking time off, come back all apologetically and tell you why they were not writing. I debated sharing this with you for that very reason… since all the other bloggers do and often, when they do, I really don’t care why they weren’t writing. I think, “They can write when they want. They don’t owe me any explanation. They don’t need to go into all this detail to tell me, as if I’m mad at them for not writing…”
The reason I have decided to say anything at all in this post is because of what my purpose behind this blog is: To document my life, my family’s life, and to journal the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. I don’t scrapbook anymore, which used to be my main form of keeping record of our lives. So, all of that explanation to introduce the explanation as to why I haven’t been writing. If you simply don’t care (and I won’t be offended) you can stop reading now.
I have had a hard time adjusting to life here in the US. I don’t think it’s about the US versus Germany. I don’t even think it has anything to do with being in Texas, though I admit it was quite far down the wish-list. As in, it was only on the “do not request” list. I had heard rumors that it was hot in Texas… that fact ruled it out of EVER being on my wish list. My complaints about Texas have been centered on the heat, because to be perfectly honest, that is the only thing I don’t like about my life right now. At least it’s the only thing I can pinpoint that I don’t like.
So I can’t quite figure out why I’ve been so blue. So moody. So jumpy. So blah.
Because of that I decided to go see a counselor here on post. (No, not Matt! While he is a counselor – and a good one, I assume – he can’t be my counselor for this.) After nine months of trying to figure things out on my own, and with Matt’s blessing, I decided to go see a counselor about these “issues” I’ve been having. Last Wednesday was our first session and she brought up some interesting points and illustrated for me some things I hadn’t been able to put into words. I share this because I’ve told many people over the years that going to see a counselor is often a simple way to unravel difficult emotions and can help untangle the issues that surround those emotions.
So, my silence of late has been me just doing life… not documenting it at all. We’ve done school, gone swimming, had our first overnight guests, sweated (’cause it’s HOT, y’all), rode rip-sticks, gone to Chapel, and seen a lot of Killeen. Nothing going on out of the ordinary, just living life.
I’m going to do my best to sort through these annoying emotions that I haven’t been able to get under control, and share with you the journey, because, after all, this is the journal of my life, my family’s life, and, good or bad, easy or hard, pretty or ugly, neat or messy.
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Praying for you, for the sweet peace that surpasses all human understanding is able comfort you and bring the joy back into your daily routine. Transition is hard, every single time. It is different, every single time. Thank you for sharing, you are not alone in the struggle, just open about sharing your “untangling” of emotions. ~
Hey, look! You found it! 🙂
My counselor winked when I told her that I think most people overlooked the paragraphs where I talked about seeing her. I told her that I might have accidentally hidden it underneath a fall themed post… she said, “Accidentally? I bet it wasn’t really an accident… were you scared to tell people?” Hehe… she’s pretty good!
I found it too:) I think we all go through times like these. A friend who was going to school to become a counselor needed some people to “practice” on…I volunteered pretty quickly. Free therapy?? Yes, I ‘m all about that ! 🙂 At the time I was not going through any really deep depression…but the loss of a friendship in a really hurtful way and she helped me with that as well.
Trauma is trauma… pain is pain… grief is grief… loss is loss. And we can’t control how our hearts deal with that loss. That’s what I’m learning. I knew that in my mind, but my heart kept telling me to “get over it… it’s been long enough.” That doesn’t really work. And when I saw some of the key symptoms of depression, I talked to Matt and he agreed with me… that it was time. (I probably should have gone while we were in Columbia, (I SHOULD HAVE) but I really thought getting here and having my own house was going to fix me. Grief didn’t listen to my logic.
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