Looking for my big girl panties…

I’m from the south.  Where I’m from this means I’ve gotten news I don’t like but I’m going to be a big girl about it.

There is no fun way to announce our big news, since it’s news we don’t think is fun, so I’ll just do it the plain ole boring way and tell you.

Fort Carson is no longer our next duty station…

Fort Hood is.

Before anyone starts to tell me how great Texas is, please don’t.  I’ve heard it all before.  I just don’t want to go there.  I don’t mind if you love Texas… I just don’t want to go there myself.  I’m happy you like it.  I even have a feeling I’ll come out of there with great experiences, great friends, great memories, and referring back to this day as one of those, “If you only knew how great it was going to be you wouldn’t have had such a pity party on McLeod Street.”

Fine.

But today I’m being real and I am very disappointed in this news.

In some ways, and I know they’re immature ways, I feel God’s punishing me for saying out loud (on my front balcony one chilly Tuesday over a cup of coffee with Aimee while Carson had piano lessons) that the one place on earth I hoped we’d never get stationed is Texas.  I also feel maybe God’s letting Satan test me to see if I’ll be faithful, pleasant, and praise Him under circumstances I am not happy with.

I’m really thankful God can handle my frustration, and (dare I say it?) anger at Him for having something we asked for and love dangled in front of our faces for 12 hours only to have the one place we didn’t want  to go thrust upon us.  I wish they had just told us Hood yesterday and not even said anything about Carson.

But it is what it is, and I must be a big girl about it.

I will be okay with it.  I love adventure and the only, I repeat… THE ONLY negative aspect of us going to Fort Carson was that we had already been there.  With Hood… at least there’s adventure.

I am sure I’ll write more about this journey as time progresses.  I might let you in on the fact that I teared up (cried) a little and I might one day tell you that I called Texas a less-than-nice name.  But not today.  Today my heart’s a little tender and we’re out of milk, bread, peanut-butter, jelly, bagels, cereal, chicken, coffee (YEP… COFFEE) and I’d rather go to the commissary than wallow in my grumpiness…

Now… where are my big girl panties…

About Jennifer

"Yes, they're all mine." The answer to the question I hear most often.
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14 Responses to Looking for my big girl panties…

  1. Is it certain? Is there a possibility it could yet change?

    • Jennifer says:

      For the new two weeks it’s sort-of up in the air, but we’re fairly certain this won’t change. It’s a career path thing and the guys who have the say-so are helping Matt to be sure he doesn’t get stuck on a track that has a dead end. Fort Hood allows Matt to go to a new division, one he hasn’t served in yet. It’s a good thing… I just don’t feel good about it.

      • Jennifer says:

        Let me clarify that last statement… I have a peace about it and I feel it’s fine, it’s just not what I wanted. I didn’t want anyone to think I am having reservations about it. I fully accept that we’ll end up right where we’re supposed to. Hope that makes sense.

      • Well, the good news is that EVERYWHERE in Texas has A/C. And Hood has an incredibly low cost of living. That’s where we would have ended up if not here, so I like to think we would have met either way 🙂

      • Heather says:

        Man, that career path argument is my LEAST favorite in the world. Doug keeps telling me all of my top choices wont work because it “Doesn’t look good for career progression”. I have a hard time being mature about it. I don’t care about the career! I don’t wanna go! LOL. Hopefully you’ll feel better about it as the news settles in.

  2. Faithfulfitmom says:

    We did 2 years at Ft Sam. What I will say is Texas on the whole seemed to have a lot of roads/trails good for running (cycling in our case).

  3. Debbie says:

    We have several great friends that live there in Killeen that were at our church. As the time gets closer, I can send you a few contacts, if you like.

  4. Ellen says:

    Hugs to you! Oh, I know all about having something sweet dangled in your face and then yanked. Hang in there. – Ellen (who found ya through Large Family Living)

  5. I am sorry. It is so hard when we get our hearts and mind settled on something and then the rug gets pulled out from under us. ((hugs))

  6. Mandee Hall says:

    FT Hood was the first place that I PCS’d to. There are definitely some pros and cons to that place. One of the good things is there are so many opportunities and the city (at least when I was there) was flooded with military pride. Military life is full of surprises and changes. From us to your family, thank you for your service and sacrifice.

  7. Nicole says:

    OMG please don’t ever think God punishes us! If you are a believer in Christ, he disciplines us LOVINGLY like any loving Father would. But, never punishes us because of something we said. Go with strength and confidence that in some way (even though you can’t see it now) this will be a blessing! Remember God knows the past and the future!! We know who goes before us and who stands behind us!!!! May HE richly bless you and your family!!

  8. Pingback: I might have to eat some crow. | thehamricks

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