Have you ever had one of those moments where all of a sudden you feel like you woke up in your current life and were totally amazed at where you are? I think this sensation needs a name. You know… like the sensation of having experienced a current situation before is called “déjà vu,” which in French literally means, “already seen.”
No idea what I would call this but the translation would be “how in the world did I get to be 30-something, end up in Germany, have three bigs and, on top of that, a beautiful, healthy baby boy who is learning faster than I can catch my breath.” (Evelyn could probably find a word for me as she is fluent in French. Jamais vu, maybe?) As the sensation passed, I really felt as if I had just gone from college to Germany and I was momentarily overwhelmed with where my life was. Not in an, “Oh crap!” kind of way, though. It was more of a, “How did I manage to end up with so many blessings?!?” kind of way.
I had this sensation tonight as I sat lay on the floor on my stomach, eye-t0-eye with Parker who was exploring the stash of treasures he had accumulated. At the moment I experienced this sensation I was watching him drive one of his cars while making that noise boys innately know how to make…
Maybe the reason I had this sensation tonight was because two of my friends had babies last week, one a little early and the other a lot early. Baby L was released from the hospital Monday to start her life at home with her loving mom and dad while Baby R still rests in the care of the NICU nurses, while his loving mom and dad pray for his little body to gain strength each day. From what I gather he is doing well and is progressing daily. As he happens to be my cousin, I am keeping as close an eye on his progress as I can from across an ocean.
Maybe the reason was because I spent a bit of my “do nothing whatsoever” hour today flipping through Heather and Miles’ pictures of their new addition, South. It took me back to when we were a new family just welcoming our first baby home.
Maybe the reason is because Matt is away for a week and I am never quite whole without him.
Regardless of the reason for my “how in the world did I get here” sensation, I take it as yet another opportunity to thank the Lord for the abundant blessings in my life.
One of my favorite scriptures ever is from Numbers, of all places. It is a prayer of blessing that has been prayed over my babies from birth. Tonight I am taking the time to be thankful for the blessings in my life even after a less-than-perfect day. (Seriously, there were a few moments I wish I could go back and do over, with a better attitude.) In spite of my less-than-patient attitude, I feel the Lord has blessed me, kept me, and made His face shine upon me. He has been gracious to me, turned His face toward me and above all, given me peace.
24 “‘“The LORD bless you
and keep you;
25 the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’